By Jamie Cavanagh
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Dear Santa,
Dear Santa; it's me, Amy.
You might remember me from that Christmas of 1993 when you got me an
unmarked envelope with $50 in it. Thanks a lot! Best Christmas
ever!
I thought I'd write a letter, in the off-chance I might be on the
'Nice List' this year. I know my mom said I never would be, since I
didn't help Jeremy Martin when he peed his pants while jumping on a
trampoline in the spring of '93. I guess I still wonder, dude was
PEEING EVERYWHERE, how was I supposed to help!? Well, you have your
reasons for not visiting me, I'm sure.
Anyway, here's hoping you can forgive me for that transgression, and
grant me a small gift.
All I want this year is a restrictive ban on the following items in the bedroom:
-Posters of strippers named 'Shawna', 'Candy', or 'Miss Tery' (all
others may, begrudgingly, remain)
-black or strobe lights. No one likes seeing my thighs on strobe.
-Cats in general. That shit's gross.
-Anything Harry Potter-related, other than the books (ie. Daniel
Radcliffe clippings, brooms, striped scarves of any kind – this is a
big problem for me).
-DJ Tiesto CDs played at top volume (from either a discman hooked up
to a speaker, or hummed in my ear with alarming accuracy)
-Diaries. They are left conveniently open to entries about your
truly, in a passive agressive move to show both senstivity and to turn
the screw deeper.
I know people generally ask you to give them presents, Santa, and not
to restrict you from giving, but, if you could find it in your heart
to fulfill my request, please do not give anything on the above list
to: BRANDON ROMANOWSKI (apartment #306, 10615-84 Avenue, Edmonton,
T6E 2G6, DOB 10/15/1982, SIN 653 763 552, he looks like a chubby,
more-pockmarked Luke Perry).
Thanks, Santa!
Your biggest fan,
Amy Shostak
Ps. I put that $50 in a savings account, and over the year's it's
grown to $76.85! I'm saving up to put my kids through college!
You might remember me from that Christmas of 1993 when you got me an
unmarked envelope with $50 in it. Thanks a lot! Best Christmas
ever!
I thought I'd write a letter, in the off-chance I might be on the
'Nice List' this year. I know my mom said I never would be, since I
didn't help Jeremy Martin when he peed his pants while jumping on a
trampoline in the spring of '93. I guess I still wonder, dude was
PEEING EVERYWHERE, how was I supposed to help!? Well, you have your
reasons for not visiting me, I'm sure.
Anyway, here's hoping you can forgive me for that transgression, and
grant me a small gift.
All I want this year is a restrictive ban on the following items in the bedroom:
-Posters of strippers named 'Shawna', 'Candy', or 'Miss Tery' (all
others may, begrudgingly, remain)
-black or strobe lights. No one likes seeing my thighs on strobe.
-Cats in general. That shit's gross.
-Anything Harry Potter-related, other than the books (ie. Daniel
Radcliffe clippings, brooms, striped scarves of any kind – this is a
big problem for me).
-DJ Tiesto CDs played at top volume (from either a discman hooked up
to a speaker, or hummed in my ear with alarming accuracy)
-Diaries. They are left conveniently open to entries about your
truly, in a passive agressive move to show both senstivity and to turn
the screw deeper.
I know people generally ask you to give them presents, Santa, and not
to restrict you from giving, but, if you could find it in your heart
to fulfill my request, please do not give anything on the above list
to: BRANDON ROMANOWSKI (apartment #306, 10615-84 Avenue, Edmonton,
T6E 2G6, DOB 10/15/1982, SIN 653 763 552, he looks like a chubby,
more-pockmarked Luke Perry).
Thanks, Santa!
Your biggest fan,
Amy Shostak
Ps. I put that $50 in a savings account, and over the year's it's
grown to $76.85! I'm saving up to put my kids through college!
By Amy Shostak
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
RFT PODCAST #1
http://rapidfiretheatre.tumblr.com/post/2385833413/podcast1
Click above to listen to the inaugural edition of Rapid Fire Theatre's offical PODCAST!!!
Click above to listen to the inaugural edition of Rapid Fire Theatre's offical PODCAST!!!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
A Joke
What do two very cute downhill winter sports athletes do when exchanging equipment?
"TRADESKIES!!!!!!!"
By Vincent Forcier
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Doctors!
Rapid Fire presents things you don't want to hear a doctor say seconds before you go under for surgery.
Directed by Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki.
Starring Amy Shostak, Taylor Rubin, Mike Robertson, Joleen Ballendine, Gordie Lucius, Joe Vanderhelm, Todd Houseman, Tim Mikula, Julia Guy, AJ Vaage and Colin Matty.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Tiny Ghost
A man is haunted by a tiny ghost.
Directed by Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki.
Starring Richard Lam.
Puppets by Brendan Boyd.
Hand Guns
A man has many whimsical adventures with his hand guns.
Directed by Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki.
Starring Colin Matty, Amy Shostak, Stuart Hoye and Nikolai Witschl.
Special thanks to Fort Edmonton Park.
I Don't Like My Smile
A girl is shy about her smile.
Directed by Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki.
Starring Jessie McPhee and Hannah Spear.
Working Hard
Two construction workers try to show their support for a coworkers sexual orientation.
Directed by Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki.
Starring Jamie Cavanagh, Kory Mathewson, Julian Faid and Mark Meer.
Featuring Kelta Coomber, Amy Shostak, Arlen Konopaki and Hannah Spear.
The REAL Friends Theme Song
The way the Friends theme song was meant to be heard.
Directed by Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki.
Starring: Tim Mikula.
Great Ideas
A man has some great ideas that just might save his company.
Directed by Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki.
Starring: Arlen Konopaki, Lisa Amerongen and Mark Meer.
Featuring: Nikolai Witschl, Amy Shostak, Mat Simpson, Kory Mathewson and Noel Glover.
Viewer Discretion
Directed by Mike Robertson and Arlen Konopaki.
A classic viewer discretion ad, from the archives.
The Fart Vampire
A group of kids share stories about the scariest monster around.
Directed by Arlen Konopaki.
Starring Taz VanRassel, Aaron Read and The Kidprovisors.
Concept by Arlen, Taz and Kyle Dooley.
Musket Cop
Another classic episode of Musket Cop. Filmed at Rapid Fire Theatre's Improvaganza 2010.
Directed by Arlen Konopaki.
Starring Ryan Biel, Jayden Pfiefer and Bob Banks.
Music by Jan Randall.
BELIEVE PSA
A Public Service Announcement from Rapid Fire Theatre.
Shot during Improvaganza 2010.
Written by Aaron Read and Kevin Gillese.
Directed by Mike Fly
REFFIES
Reffies are a drug that should not be trifled with!
Shot during Improvaganza 2010.
Written by Kevin Lee, Mark Little and Mike Fly
Directed by Mike Fly
I Am The Man
Two co-workers get acquainted.
Directed by Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki.
Starring Chris Craddock as Adam and Paul Blinov as Larry.
The Dancing Dog
A man returns home to find his roommate taking part in an unexpected activity.
Directed by Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki.
Starring:
Marc Schulte, Joe Vanderhelm and Kinsey as Herself.
Music by Michelle Molineux.
The Homelessness Diet
Learn about the new fad diet that's sweeping the nation.
Directed by Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki.
Starring:
Amy Shostak as Biff
Hannah Spear as Sarah
Mike Robertson as Junior
Arlen Konopaki as the Announcer
Mambo No. 5
Two friends share a first experience together.
Directed by Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki.
Starring:
Jamie Cavanagh as Blake
Kory Mathewson as Frederic
Pranking Raoul
A hilarious prank is pulled.
Directed by Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki.
Starring:
Chris Craddock as Thug
Julian Faid as Jeb
Jessie McPhee as Johnny
Mark Meer as Raoul
Gord Steinke Is Your Leader!
Gord Steinke, anchorman extraordinaire, is your leader! Get to know him!
Directed by Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki.
Starring Gord Steinke.
Music by Gord Steinke.
Featuring:
Joleen Ballendine
Joey Lucius
Matt Schuurman
Nick Shostak
Arlen Konopaki
Mike Robertson
Jessie McPhee
Tim Mikula
Nikolai Witschl
RFT ACADEMY PRESENTS: THE NOSEBOWL!
An introduction to the Nosebowl, brought to you by Rapid Fire Theatre.
Written by Joe Vanderhelm, Donovan Workun, Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki
Directed and Edited by Arlen Konopaki & Mike Robertson
Featuring:
Amy Shostak as Amy
Stuart Hoye as Mr. Nose
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR CHANNEL!
Check us out online at:
http://www.rapidfiretheatre.com
Follow us on Twitter:
www.twitter.com/theatresports
Music provided by 9southproductions.com
RFT ACADEMY PRESENTS: MAKING A SCENE!
A lesson on scenework and games, brought to you by Rapid Fire Theatre.
Written by Joe Vanderhelm, Donovan Workun, Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki
Directed and Edited by Arlen Konopaki & Mike Robertson
Featuring:
Joe Vanderhelm as Joe
Julian Faid as Joe
Mike Robertson as Befuddled Man
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR CHANNEL!
Check us out online at:
http://www.rapidfiretheatre.com
Follow us on Twitter:
www.twitter.com/theatresports
Music provided by 9southproductions.com
RFT ACADEMY PRESENTS: GET INTO CHARACTER!
How to build an improvised character, brought to you by Rapid Fire Theatre.
Written by Joe Vanderhelm, Donovan Workun, Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki
Directed and Edited by Arlen Konopaki & Mike Robertson
Featuring:
Marc Schulte as Marc
Joe Vanderhelm as The Owl
Jessie McPhee and Tim Mikula as the Improvisors
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR CHANNEL!
Check us out online at:
http://www.rapidfiretheatre.com
Follow us on Twitter:
www.twitter.com/theatresports
Music provided by 9southproductions.com
RFT ACADEMY PRESENTS: SPINNIN' A YARN!
How to tell an improvised story, brought to you by Rapid Fire Theatre.
Written by Joe Vanderhelm, Donovan Workun, Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki
Directed and Edited by Arlen Konopaki & Mike Robertson
Featuring:
Amy Shostak as Amy
Kory Mathewson as Judge Reinhold
Hannah Spear and Julia Guy as the Improvisors
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR CHANNEL!
Check us out online at:
http://www.rapidfiretheatre.com
Follow us on Twitter:
www.twitter.com/theatresports
Music provided by 9southproductions.com
RFT ACADEMY PRESENTS: BACK TO BASICS!
An introduction to improv technique, brought to you by Rapid Fire Theatre.
Written by Joe Vanderhelm, Donovan Workun, Mike Robertson & Arlen Konopaki
Directed and Edited by Arlen Konopaki & Mike Robertson
Featuring:
Jamie Cavanagh as Jamie
Arlen Konopaki as Doctor Doctor
Lisa Amerongen and Joey Lucius as the Improvisors
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR CHANNEL!
Check us out online at:
http://www.rapidfiretheatre.com
Follow us on Twitter:
www.twitter.com/theatresports
Music provided by 9southproductions.com
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